travelogue

Pain is a loving teacher. 
Pain is a course in Love.

Pain came to me in the form of Multiple Sclerosis [MS]. The world knows of MS as a disease. My experiences taught me that MS is a very loving teacher. That MS is a course in Love. I am grateful my teacher came to me.

I experienced the first symptoms of MS in 2002 in Bangalore, India. I did not know then, that it was Multiple Sclerosis. In 2008 the condition was officially diagnosed. At UIHC, Iowa City, USA.

MS, is a disease of the Central Nervous System, where the nerves of the brain and spine develop "scars". This impacts physical and mental abilities. As the scars increase, the abilities decrease.

A few months later, in 2008, as I was recuperating from an acute MS attack, the course textbook also came to me: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

What the book said made intuitive sense to me. I started practicing its suggestions.

Results emerged and thereby confidence too. I received a special dose of confidence in mid-2009 thanks to G L Sampoorna in Chennai, India. Thanks to the confidence, in July 2009 I stopped taking the regular injections that MS patients are prescribed and learn to self-inject.

This step of stopping injections was taken without consulting anyone, without any indication of improvement in my condition. The step was taken due to an intuitive sense that the injections are not any actual good and are in fact doing slow harm. Also, there was a feeling that this action will convey a message to the Force, that I have Faith. Also, that without the psychological support of the injections, I will per-force have to hold onto Faith.

Family members supported my decision. Practicing Louise Hay's principles continued.

In Nov 2009, once again I experienced a tini-wini MS attack. Thanks to Louise Hay's principles, this time I paid attention to what MS was telling me. I saw that certain foods were causing aggravation of my problems - a pattern that was common across all occurrences in 2002, 2007-2008 and 2009. I finally understood that not only should I not be eating those foods during an MS attack, but basically I should not be eating those foods ever.

Now since I finally heard this one thing that my teacher had been trying to tell me since years - my teacher was able to talk to me more explicitly and clearly.

I got to know more clearly what I should not eat, and, what I *should* eat. I got to know of Dr. Terry Wahls [a former MS patient herself] and her book Minding My Mitochondria. Telling me about Dr. Terry Wahls and her book in early 2010 was the best hint into the MS riddle that my doctor Dr. Shivapour ever gave me.

I followed Terry Wahls' diet recommendations as best as I could, i.e. about 55-60%.

I was also taught more formally how to listen to my teacher [my thoughts], more explicitly. I enrolled in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction [MBSR] course at UIHC.

MBSR and its many other variations is a set of courses originally started by Jon Kabat Zinn. Meditation is the formal aspect of Mindfulness. Using his course design Jon Kabat Zinn has formally introduced Meditation pratice into regular mainstream medical facilities in the western world.

Thanks to Jon Kabat Zinn's book Wherever You Go There You Are (and exposure to eastern principles and philosophies since childhood), I got to know of MBSR and was appropriately tuned-in for the course and continuation of its practice after the course.

The discomfort caused by MS continued.

I further fine-tuned and integrated Louise Hay's clues and value system with concepts and value systems gained since childhood. Thus the practice was further fine-tuned.

Thanks to that further tuning, in December 2010, I realized I do not have the MS consciousness anymore. That is, that "I am an MS patient" was no longer a part of my identity definition in my internal mental landscape.

In January 2011, I realized I did not have MS anymore. Several everyday explicit symptoms totally vanished. I felt healthier than I ever had even as a child.

What I write here is an output of the journey, of which, the MS is a significant part, but just a part.

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3 comments:

  1. Wow, from India to Iowa. That's a huge change and sounds like it could be a great story for u to write about.

    Without my psychologist and my counseling I would be lost. It is a great help to me. Like you, I am trying to change my eating habits. I will look into Dr Terry Wahls. Thanks for the story and the help.

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  2. What a remarkable journey Vani. Big hug.
    I saw you in Kolkata once and worried after.
    Now I guess I should not:) You are fine, you have done well!

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  3. I really feel it to be totally a flow of Grace, Seeta. If I was able to decipher anything of the Grace that Grace needed me to decipher - the credit for that too goes totally to Grace.

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